Date: October 7th, 2012
Time: 11:00 pm
Location: The House
If I read one more Craigslist job posting about wanting a “go-getter,” I’m going to pull my hair out. Or book a flight back to Asia. Or give-up any hope of ever finding a job and moving out of my parents’ house, which will inevitably lead to my eventual psychotic breakdown in which I torch the house and end up on the 10 o’clock news with an exposé of the Craigslist Rants & Raves Lunatic.
I understand that this world needs people like that: Aggressive. Hustlers. Incorrigibly obnoxious.
But for the love of all things beautiful in this world, can we all just agree that those people should be a minority?
They are the ones that order things like the chef salad, but hold the cheese, and change the egg to tofu, and instead of romaine, make it spinach and exactly 1 tablespoon of blue cheese on the side and be sure that it isn’t touching anything else on the plate. The ones that will ask the minimum-wage teenage sales attendant at Nordstrom if she can do a little better on the price. The ones that will ask to stay at a friend’s college roommate’s aunt’s (i.e., a complete stranger’s) house while passing through town.
Unabashedly shameless and oh so cringe-worthy.
A company of go-getters sounds like my idea of hell.
But would I hire one? Yes. Probably.
. . .